I'm Back

Infatuation: Now since I've been back I've developed a new obsession with the T.v series TRUE BLOOD. Now last year I was a true groupie/Twilight fanatic, and I took a vow to never indulge in another vampire romance book, well I haven't completely broken the vow because I'm just obsessed with the T.V show not the books. Anywho my favorite thing about the show is not sookie, the small town girl who falls in love with Bill the vampire, I could careless about their vamp on human love sessions, it would have to be Tara the angry black woman whos mother drinks her life away, and her flamboyant cousin Lafayette who walks around with lashes and timb boots on, with designer scrafs draped around his head, and lets not forget his gold bell bottom pants that he wore on season one, gotta love him. But I must be honest the one thing/person who attracted me to this show would have to be this: My Chocolate Mountain please bask in this wonderful glory!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awakening: So long...

I've come to the realization that if something doesn't bring you happiness, let it go!!!!!  I mean I've just come to realize you grow out of a lot of stuff. The things you use to find funny don't amuse you anymore, things you use to obsess over no longer have any true meaning in your life anymore, once you embrace this and realize things will never be the same way they use to be everything will be okay. Nothing! no matter how long it has been in your life; is worth keeping just because of longevity, if your spirit isn't emitting the same peaceful feeling that you use to get then its time for a change and you must embrace it. Somethings just don't feel the same or even right anymore, maybe instead of trying to ignore it and look past it like its nothing big, I should accept that this is the way things will always be and I have no way of fixing it, so I must move on and focus on my own path that I want to lead. My journey is in my hands and only God can direct me in the right path, everything else is just meant to distract the path I am meant to follow, but this has brought me major peace. Sometimes you just have to see that things are changing for a reason and you must let go of the past and move forward with a brand new start. I love change honestly its refreshing, starting new allowing your true self to come forth, its an amazing feeling. But thats just what I've been feeling for a while now and I felt the urge to express this in my blog. So long... negative energy... what a waste...

                                                             Negativity

"Negativity is contagious

Some can beat it by being courageous

Others succumb to it and become dangerous

Protecting a positive environment

Is creating a life of peace and contentment!"

-D.L. Carroll

This is an excerpt from a poem that I found and this particular part of the poem spoke volumes to my heart. This painting above is by one of my favorite artist Vincent Van Gogh, and this is also one of  his art pieces that I love the most.

Black History Moment: SPOTLIGHT

           Jazz: Louis Armstrong

                                                        

"Black & Blue"

Cold empty bed springs hurt my head

Feels like ole ned wished I was dead

What did I do to be so black and blue

Even the mouse ran from my house

They laugh at you and all that you do

What did I do to be so black and blue

I'm white inside but, that don't help my case

That's life can’t hide what is in my face

How would it end ain't got a friend

My only sin is in my skin

What did I do to be so black and blue

How would it end I ain't got a friend

My only sin is in my skin

What did I do to be so black and blue

Literature: The Bluest Eye

                                                                             

"Each night Pecola prayed for
blue eyes.
In her eleven years, no one had 
ever noticed Pecola. But with blue
eyes, she thought, everything
would be different. She would be
so pretty that her parents would
stop fighting. Her father
would stop drinking. Her brother
would stop running away. If
only she could be beautiful.
If only people would look at her.

                             Black HollyWood: Dorothy Dandridge                 

(November 9, 1922–September 8, 1965) was an American actress and popular singer. Dandridge was the first African American to be nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress.

LIVE FREE, OR DIE!

"After placing first and third in the 200-meter run at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City, American runners Tommie Smith and John Carlos gave the "Black Power" salute at the awards ceremony, both wearing a black glove and no shoes to protest the standard of living of minorities in the United States. The International Olympic Committee deemed the action overtly political and ejected the athletes from the games."

Religious Hippie 101: No holding back!

Every single day I seem to learn something new about my self, one of them is that nothing seems to impress me, no seriously absolutely nothing. Sometimes when I meet new people I notice they do something that mostly a lot of people do, they brag about how great they are, and I'm like oh my gosh if you have to boast about yourself you've pretty much lost my interest. I don't know what it is but when ever I hear people brag I often feel like their hiding something from others or they are afraid people won't like them for who they really are, or their just insecure. I guess the real reason bragging really doesn't impress me is because my father loves to boast and brag about himself. I do not not have the best relationship with my dad and it seems when every I'm around him he is more interested in bragging and showing off to others instead of trying to show how much he loves his daughters. Thats why when ever people try to impress me or brag I see a piece of my father in them and it scares me....Another thing I learned about myself that stems from not being impressed by anything is that I try to boost peoples confidence and show them their great qualities, although I do not do that enough for my self I noticed when people compliment me I bring myself down, not because I think I am inferior its just a habit. I recall developing this "bad habit" in elementary school I lost a lot of friends because we would often try to compete with one another, those are usually the worst friendships although some people enjoy it, I DON'T! All of my competitive friendships ended with me and the other person completely disregarding one another. Another thing I also learned about myself is that I am the peace maker I always want everyone to be happy and comfortable I love making people feel like they can be their "real" selves around me. I kind of have that hippie mentality peace and love rules my life I remember having two friends in high school who hated each other but I was friends with both of them, to make a long story short I stopped being friends with one of them because I realized I couldn't solve every problem I faced and that not everyone has to be friends or even like each other. My mom always tried to teach me not to change people because only God can change his children, so I'm still trying to accept people for their flaws and all...

New Edition!

Yes, that is a gold fish & yes it is mine, I say "it" because I do not know the gender of my fish... I got goldie today and I decided to name it "Meow" yes you heard right Meow is its name and I am the proud owner. This is not my first pet I had  two Parakeets when I was younger, but they fought to the death... any who my mom saw Meow when she came home she loves the fish but hates its name! and she wants a bigger one so maybe Meow might get a wifey/hubby/homie, who knows....now the big debate is if its a girl or a boy I think its a boy but my mom thinks its a girl because  its fat around the abdomen, and she also thinks its pregnant, I hope not because I am not taking care of someone else's babies! lol 

INFATUATION T!ME

Infatuation_is a common emotion characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive relationship growth or development. -Wikipedia

Yes not only is infatuation my favorite word, YES I HAVE A FAVORITE WORD! I have a strange infatuation for anything & everything that is brightly colored! These strange obsession began when I was young I loved anything that was eye popping! But once I got to high school being different was not acceptable soooo I resulted in wearing colors like black, gray & red...HOW BORING! now I seek anything that will possibly hurt anyones eyes lol. I know wearing bright colors doesn't have positive relationship growth or development, but honestly it makes me happy it brightens up my day its so refreshing to see so many lovely colors lol

Exhibit A-babyblue polka dot PJ'z w/ multi colored sockz

                                                     OMG! I heart Zebra print! 
          Scarfs are the business, this is the only reason I actually like winter!
          MUWAHAHAHAH! yes my tissue box is neon colored LOL!!!!!!!

LIVE. LOVE. LIFE: Edition

Okay so hellop! Happy New Year...

 

So basically I have really gone through a lot last year (2008) I started college, lived away from home, not for the first time, but yea I was away from home for about three to four months and I have learned soooooo much and grown sooo much from that experience! You really learn more about yourself when you live away from home. It was such a difficult and trying experience but it really helped me grow to love and except people for the way they are and not judge them and cast them off with some objective label, now I am not going to lie I do from time to time slip up and bash people for their unusual or rather perplexed ways but hey I'm human, who doesn't do that? But non the less I have grown to appreciate life for what its worth. I care more about the simple things and less about the material things that will get me no where. I remember when I was in junior high school and high school all I cared about was looks and clothes I was so shallow and my self esteem was transparent, basically no where to be found. But after high school I began to realize what is most important in life:

 

God

My la familia

& My loved ones

 

Nothing else matters to me anymore but those things, because all those Jordans sneakers and clothes I use to obsess over are all gone they no longer have any value to me, It was pointless buying all these clothes to impress people at school who could care less about me. Like seriously what a waste of a life, but then again thats what life is all about when your young you have not yet developed true values in life, but once you start to work and have to fend for yourself you wise  up a bit and start to see things a bit more rationally, thank the LORD! because those Jordans was cuttin into my mamas pockets! lol But overall I'm just so happy to be alive and well and to have my faith, my family and to truly understand what love is all about, I'm not quite there but what I have learned about love is that Christ love is the best, It doesn't matter how much money you have how good you look or where you come from, he knows exactly who you are and he loves you for who you truly are, and that alone makes me love myself, knowing that there is at least one person out their who loves "me" just the way I am...and thats all that really matters...LIVE.LOVE.LIFE!

W.H.A.T| M.A.T.T.E.R.S|!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Vanessa: My going to the Gym/Movies/latin dancing homie!

 Karen & Nancy my Idaho democrat homiez! luv yall!
  *singing* she got a donk! j/k my lovely cousin Rudy!
 The funniest women you will ever meet! They are loved!
 My mom & I at the Salt Lake Temple: My first love
ELLE POOH! My staying up watching youtube videos buddy!