Spirit of Halloween

Okay so Just to let you know Halloween has always been my favorite holiday! I mean you get to dress up as anything you desire and no one can call the police on you or put you in a psychiatric-ward for it! So any who my roommates also share a love for halloween and have decided to deck out our dorm with halloween decorations.

     Yes that is a fake rat on top of the pumpkin, that my roommate Elle decided to put under my pillow to scare me!
            My roommate Elle hand made those bats, check out our awesome mini disco ball!

                                                                 -fin...

www.yearbookyourself.com

So my super amazingly crazy roommate has introduced me to once again a new craze, and its called yearbookyourself.com. So as soon as I heard of this website I made a mad dash for my computer and uploaded one of my pix and out came a beautiful picture of what I would have looked like if I had graduated in 1988! isn't it beautiful.... no hating please, no need for jealousy if you want a fabulous pic like mine all you have to do is clear your search bar and type in www.yearbookyourself.com enjoy!

Sad Day......

Okay so a couple of weeks ago I spoke to one of the counselors at my school [BYU-I] because I have been struggling with some anxiety problems and the counselor revealed to me that it was much more than anxiety he  explained to me that the way I deal with my anxiety is similar to the way people with OCD [ obsessive compulsive disorder] deal with their anxiety. According to wikipedia OCD is...

obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a chronic anxiety disorder most commonly characterized by obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions. Compulsions are tasks or "rituals" which attempt to neutralize the obsessions. OCD is distinguished from other types of anxiety, including the routine tension and stress that appear throughout life.

which pretty much sums up the way I deal with stress and anxiety, but what I didn't know was that I didn't have to deal with my stress that way but the problem is I don't know any other way to deal with it, so now my counselor has prescribed me medication that will help me I guess "deal" with this anxiety and stress. Honestly I'm very unhappy about this I feel like its my fault and that I did something wrong, although my counselor has assured me its not my fault and that OCD could possible be genetic so I'm 100% sure my father has OCD because he exhibits peculiar behavior too. So I called my mother this morning and told her, I was a bit skeptical about telling my mom because I thought she would not understand and just tell me to snap out of it, but she didn't she just told me to go to my doctors appointment and take my medication, and when I told her I think I got OCD from daddy she said she wasn't surprised, my moms hilarious. But anyway I'm not thrilled about taking pills, because I can't swallow one to save my life and I know this sounds corny but I just wish I was "normal" I wish I was  strong enough to deal with this but I can't and thats the hardest thing to admit. Plus I've been struggling with this for ten years so I know that I can't do this alone, but I'm just happy I finally found out what I was struggling with for all these years. It's not easy for me to open up to people because I hide a lot of feelings inside afraid to share them, but apart of this has a lot to do with "OCD" I didn't realize that until now but hopefully it will pass....

Mi casa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where all the magic happens...mostly sleep though! lol

Where I attempt to do my homework or listen to music lol
I own more combs than I do makeup! p.s don't mind the comb w/ the missing teeth..accidents happen!!!!!